Jeremy Thomas Heiss

No words I write can ever say ♥
how much I miss you everyday. ♥
As time goes by, the loneliness grows ♥,
How I miss you, nobody knows. ♥
I think of you in silence, ♥
I often speak your name.
But all I have are memories, ♥
and a photo in a frame.
No one sees me weep. ♥
But the love I have for you, ♥
Is in my heart, and mine to keep. ♥
I have never stopped loving you
and I know I never will.
Deep inside my heart, ♥
You are with me still.
Heartaches, this world are many, ♥
But mine is worse than any. ♥
My heart still aches, as I whisper low, ♥
"I need you... and miss you so. ♥"
The things we feel so deeply ♥
are often the hardest things to say. ♥
But I just can't keep quiet anymore, ♥
So I'll tell you any ways. ♥
There is a place within my heart ♥
that no one else can fill. ♥
I love you and I always will! ♥

Funny that i was thinking about the fires. yesterday we had another big fire and i thought about you a lot. remember the first big fire that almost  burned the whole town up  2 yrs ago?  you came home form work and loaded all  your guitars and amps and  music stuff into your truck took the computer apart and then sat on the front porch to watch the fire across the canyon.  that was a big fire and it came really close to   crossing the canyon and burning our house down. well we had another one yesterday. it was by the tunnel and went up the mountain behind out house.  acutally it was really close to coach Rich's house. Charlie and I were outside playing and all  of a sudden i saw a huge smoke cloud. i called dad and he asked if he should come home. then i heard all the sirens. last  time when i called 911 they didnt beleive me until the cops came to  old bisbee and saw the flames comin down the mountain. this time somoen else must have called.  i told Dad not to come home just yet then i saw  the flames and he said he was coming home anyway jsut in case. i started getting stuff together in case we had to evacuate. then i thought i should call rich since it was close to  his house. he came home  we saw him drive  by  on the highway. he called and said  it hadnt jumped the canyon that goes by his house yet. when dad got there he said to come   up to Richs to see the fire. his daddy was up there and wanted him up there. not a smart  move  but if his dad thought it was safe ... so i went up there. they were hauling stuff out of the house and puttting it into whatever vehicle had enought room so my car quickly filled up with mostly rich's clothes.  we stayed up for a while and little charlie got whiny so i decided to  come home to get some sandwiches and water to take back up there.  everyone was tired hot and hungry. on the way down,  Chalie kept saying your name i didnt pay attention because  he was making it inot a little song then he said it like when he was really exited to see  you and i looked back and i thought i saw your hair  bouncing by the back window like it did when you were running.   and a flash of blue. then charlie looked really sad . ihad to stop at garfield park because it was like my breath had been knocked out. i called steve and told him i was really going crazy. he said i wasnt and to bring your chainsaw up cause  the fire was coming. so i went home crying the entire way. made some food and  loaded up and went back up the mountain.  by then everyone was  cutting trees raking leaves and making afire line behind rich's house. i left charlie with kathy down at the house and went up there to help.  we got a pretty huge area  cleaned out . the fire was coming up the hill behnd the house and the  planes were dropping slurry  hoping to stop it on the other side.  then is started to look like rain. i was so scared for them that they would lose their house. kathy kept saying it was gods will. so i told her that God andI were only  being civil to each  other  these days.  He had let me down and i dont hold much faith in God anymore. if God was good and great then he wouldnt have taken you away and he wouldnt  threaten to burn anyones house. Yea, actually me and God arent on speaking terms right  now. How can I trust that he is good and that he watches over us. yea he watches me hurt for you every day and he watches as we struggle to  save  kathy and richs house.  we all got a  pretty good workout. it was  a mad dash. eveyonw was working as fast and as hard as possible. it didnt rain but the cloudiness  must have helped. the wind turned and the fire started buring back towards     sierra vista area.  we were exhausted, all of us. we unloaded everything from the cars when we rich thought it was safe enough.last night the sky was full of embers it looked pretty .  i went out and talked to you through your star.  and i thought about all of the adventures we had. this was certainly an adventure. if you had been here we would have  had more done in less time because you were so strong  and so fast. everyone was so sore today. steve had a hard time getting out of bed and i had to actually roll off the bed onto one arm and one leg then get on all fours and stand up.  today is bryans birthday. i am so sad that i cant call him. iwant to hug him but i can oly talk to him when they let him call. he is on a marines ship somewhere by africa. hopefully he will be  back soon. and Jesse, please help Jesse. he is having a really hard time with your loss. i worry about him . so does V. she called today and was so  worried about him.  i love you so much and cant wait to see you son. if only i  could see  you for more than and instant. if only i could hug and kiss you one more time. acutally it woudlnt be enought i want you  here with me all the time.  i hope you are enjoying watching us from heaven. and thank you for sending rain today. it wasnt much but  i know that  the tree and roses we planted for you loved it.  the roses have flowers on them .

Dude! this is a good memory.  We spent the rest of yesterday with Jesse's Mom .  we were eating lunch and somehow she started talking about the huge fire last year. the one that almost  burned down the town.  she said she was so afraid it was you guys that started it . so we told her what really happened with the tracer.  she laughed so hard.  So here goes in case you forgot. you, dad and your buddies went to the rifle range to shoot guns.  l stayed home. couple hours later dad called me and asked me to bring water then he said there was a fire up ther but he didnt say how it started or anything.  so i got 4 bottles of water and  drove out there.  when i got there he was alone by the truck and i asked where you were and he pointed to the   mountain and said you were putting out the fire. i saw you peeing on it but the wind was picking up and it was getting bigger. you called and asked if i brought water. well i didnt know you guys needed  WATER. i thought you were thirsty. even so  you took the 4 bottles and tried to put it out. it got dark by the time it was out and  when we were leaving i looked back and saw it spark back up. i remember racing home and  you   guys were all full of soot  and stunk pretty bad. it was kind of serious and quiet in the  house. then you had to go  tell chance's mom what happened and you were all so scared of her. so many adventures we had with  you.

something good happened today. we gave out $500 in scholarships and i was able to talk to the entire school about  prevention. teh scholarships went to beto and amanda. i think we chose well. they will  not give up and finish the dream that you so wanted to finish.  i love you so much. gotta go but i just wanted to let you know. so many people loved you so much. i have people i dont even know coming up to me all the time and telling me about a funny thing you and they did.

Today is the end of Mothers Day. What a horrible day I had. I always liked Mothers Day. you used to make me egg sandwiches or pancakes.  the smell of eggs would wake me up. today steve got me a paper, a zinger, and cofee. it was funny but i didnt laugh. I am no longer a mother so therefore I hate it. motherhood died in me the day you did. i feel like the very thing that made me a mother, my mothers heart has been ripped out of my body and soul and taken with you. i feel like an empty shell of a  mother that was happy and full  before all this happened and  that the day  you died, everything was drained out of me. actually i started feeling this way when i saw you on the ground. when the medics were trying to save your life. I knew that it was all in vain. but they tried anyway either for their sake or for  mine. because they all knew you and me. i bragged about you to them all the time. and some of them had followed your life through sports or through all the stories you generated in the newspapers about you athletic  abilities.  theminute i  drove up the street and saw the ambulance I knew you were not going to live and that my life as i knew it would forever end. At the hospital, the doctors didnt know i am a nurse and that i have been in their postion so many times. they were trying to find the words to make it easy on me. the same words i have searched within myself  hundreds of times when i have to tell a mom her loved one died. i knew right away the finality of it all, but my heart didnt want to accept it. i had to be strong for everyone  else. we had just lost paige  3 months before and  i had to be strong for steve, for nana and tata, they should never have to bury a grandson. i tried to  make everyone understand that you were going to die.  i knew that if you survived, you would have been miserable but  now i jsut wish that even if you were an invalid, i still would want you here.  i would take care of you but that would have made you so unhappy. i would be happy though. i know everyone had hopes that you would survive. they saw everyone working on you so hard that they thought   there would be a miracle. i wanted that miracle but i know too much. i wanted to scream and run and hit someone or something that day. i still do every day. but i knew i had to be strong.  and i still feel like i have to. but it is gettting harder and harder to hide my tears. thankfully i spend a lot of time alone so i try to get out as many of my tears when im alone. so steve wont see me hurt cause i know he hurts and worries when im sad. 

 

Everyone is so happy. They all have children to celebrate for. I dont. I dont want pity. i feel that is what  i get. i hate pity. thats what I feel everyone feels for me and that is why they call or text or invite me places. i tell everyone im ok  when they as how i am. but im not ok and i get so irritated when they ask how i am. how the f...k  do they think im feeling. i lost my  everything. i lost the love of my life and i  can see you, hold you, touch you, kiss you or hug you.  at first when they would ask if there is anything they can do i would tell them that no one can give me what i want. that would make them squirm in their skin and i finally got the message. maybe they did too . because how they ask how im doing. what a stupid  question.

 

 Your death has turned my life upside down and inside out both physically and emotionally. I resent feeling so alone and cut off. maybe everyone feels uncomfortable being around me because of my grief or because they dont know what to say or do. they have gone on with their lives. only a few of us that truly loved you, who you were the  most important person in our lives, still mourn. that makes me angry in a way.  not just those that are close but also strangers. how can they be so happy all the time. they should be sad too like me , right? Im  afraid everyone is talking about  your death and about me. sometimes i feel as if they think i should be getting over this by now but i wont ever get over your not being in my arms .  I want to hurt people all the time. to make up for my pain. but i just cant bring myself to do it. but it doesnt take much to bring me to tears anymore. i used to be able to hold it until i was alone. i am now so exhausted that tears  come easily and i have no control over them. i hate that about me. i dont want anyone to see me cry.  i want to be strong. i feel like if i let them take over me, i would never stop crying. i would just cry until the day i die.

 all day long  a lot of people texted me or called and said happy mothers day to me.people that never called before. why now? if i was so important in their lives why wasnt it important to call me last year or the year before?  each time my heart broke all over again. it used to be such a happy day and all i did was weep . jsut when i was starting to feel better someone else would call. and the feeling  would start all over again. i thought i turned my phone off but it didnt  go off. steve told me that i may as well get it done with today otherwise they would be calling tomorrow and the day after. so i did.

 

 I have so much fear of being alone. i dont want to be alone, yet i want to be alone. this is so confusing. i want to be alone with you  but you arent here and i want to be alone with my htought amy greif but it scares me to be alone with my thoughts. I hate going anyplace because i see it in people eyes, i see their pity and the questions in their eyes. wondering about me and what im feeling and why this all happened.  and i dont  have those answers for myself, how can i naswer their questions even if they are left unsaid.  Im having a hard time keeping the relationships i have already established, how am i going to make new ones... ever? I feel numb. i feel ike a robot. i cant really react either positively or negatively to anything. I  am just an object in this world.  sometimes i  think i have lost the ability to feel. to feel anything but pain and sadness. everything  is just something that has to been done or tolerated. i hate so many things that i loved before. i hate so many people.  everyone who i can blame. i hate myself, I hate God. how can god be so cruel. sometimes I even hate you for dying. how can you have done this to me. how could you be so selfish.  sometimes i feel responisble  for your death.  did i do everything possible to prevent this?  you  often called me a control freak and if i was, why cant i control what happened. how did it not prevent it from happening.  you must have been wrong. i will never know.i guess i wasnt as awesome as you thought i was. i guess i wasnt able to make everything go my way all of the time.  i know that i did everything i knew to do.  i am driving myself crazy with these thoughts.I resent so much, this situation i am in right now.  I resent others for being able to be happy.  my whole world is dark and they somehow see light in their lives. I feel like people who are closest to me are distancing themselves from me. even steve is not the steve i knew before you died. but i know that he too is grieving. maybe thats it. bryan, myranda and her family, elvia, pat and a few others are still there for me, truly, i feel their  honesty. others i feel  are just doing what they think should be done. going through the motions. like i am roght now. doingwhat i think needs to be done.

 

I feel responsible for  the way my family feels yet it angers me that they are distancing themselves. i hate that they had to go through seeing you die. i thought i was always there for them when they needed them and that they too would be there for me but it is not so. My and your friends are what is sustaining me these days.  I feel abandoned by everyone and everything including you.  I  no longer have ambition. i cant plan for the future. why? so it can be ripped away form my grasp?  Im so frustrated with everything i do. i feel so powerless all the time. helpless. it seems like everything always hits me at once.  I fell like i have failed at life itself. I am emotinally bankrupt. everything  good that i had is gone.  

 

this month has been a roller coaster of emotions. i cant imagine what next month is going to be like. next year.  no, things are not definatley getting better with time. they are getting worse and i dont know what to do.

i hope you had a happy birthday. I had planned to spend the day alone. well ,as alone as i could be with charlie around. but all  our friends, your friends had other things in mind. Azurae came by first. then Tracy and Diego. Then caro and her friend. then Betty and the gang and beto.you got  a lot of flowers. Ciara brought you beautiful lilies. caro brought white roses, they have a green tinge to them.  you would love them. I have been tending my rose bush diligently so that i would have beautiful roses for you. they are spectacular this year. huge, red and smell delicious.  I got you lots of presents too. As Im sure you've seen. We all went to your site and sat there. Myrandas brothers and sisters were there too and made it a joyful time. the laughter and them running around reminded me of your happy days. And coach rich and Kathie,  they are so concerned about me and Dad and call all the time. Rich was so serious and sincere. I never pictured him like that. so much for my lonely day without you. I brought you a huge jawbreaker sucker, they didnt have the rainbow kind you liked so much. and Angelina wanted your candy bar. I got you three little birds and a plaque and some wind chimes and a whirlygig.  everything looks so bright and cheerful just like your good days when you were happy. Betty did some Jaeger for you but you know I dont like it so i passed. bryan called at 4AM From wherever he is at with the Marines. couldnt really tell me much, you know, secret military shit and stuff. Jesse called tonight and he may be able to come home in august. it was really nice talking to him. vanessa wants to take me to eat on saturday and lordy lord, jesse just told me that he and her are boyfriend and girlfriend as of 2 weeks ago. imagine that. I bet you woul be happy for them because you  loved them both. i mean if you named your tattoo  gun after her she must be something special. that was a sweet gesture . So today a lot of memories came to mind moslty your birthdays and im gonna tell you in case youve forgotten. or maybe you remember things i didnt. your first birthday. you were  amazingly cute. even back then you loved sunglasses . we had a picnic at the water hole at the ranch. You loved splashing in the water and i remember taking you and sitting you down on the rocks where the water ran down but you wanted to go to the deep part. such a daredevil . you had a  pink barney pinata and nanita helped you hit it. she was so protective of you she wanted  only you to hit  it. I wrote in your baby book that juan broke the pinata. we ate marinated grilled chicken and all  the usual goodies that nana always made. every time you opend a present you would say "ooooohh". then throw it aside and open another one.  your second birthday was a more low key and quiet one. we dint have much money back then you wanted a train but i couldnt afford to get you one. we had just left your dad and were  barely making it on our own. Thor and Faye came over. Your third birthday you wanted a Pica Dog birthday . i made you a Pica Dog pinata and  cake. we had it at the park and you didnt want anyone to hit your Pica dog pinata or eat you cake. you got a bit mad when we had to break it open and cut the cake. you were Tatas boy back then. he was your hero and you missed him so much. i made a book of his pictures and you carried it around with you everywhere you went. so you spent most of that birthday either up on top of the monkey bars on on tatas lap..... to be continued.

Just a few hours until your birthday.  right about this time I was eating a huge chimichanga. Later, I thought the chimichanga was  making my tummy upset. you were not supposed to be  born for a while yet but I guess there wasn't enough room in there . today , 18 yrs ago I went riding horses with your Tata. We checked on some fences and  the cattle. I put a pillow on the saddle horn  so It wouldnt rub my belly. You were  quiet most of the day but when I got hungry you started kicking. Little did I know  that you were practicing to be a wreslter  and a runner. those legs sure were going . NOW I know  what you were doing in there. I thought you were  going to be a gymnast or a boxer. I guess you chose the middle ground and became a wrestler and all that kicking was you running sprints in there. Coach Rich called last night and "told" me I have to be at the wrestling banquet. I told him I would go and right after I hung up I started crying. I dont know if I can even go into the wrestling gym. so many memories. It was like  a vidoe of last years banquet went off in my head. I saw you  wearing you flourescent pink and black striped shirt. Hugging Gloria , Rich and  Steve. At the time I was  sad, thinking I would never get to see you wrestle again. little did I know the sadness i would feel today. You were so happy cause you could eat and you ate a lot that day and laughed at  next years wrestlers cause they  wouldnt be able to. Then you got on the mat and wrestled with charlie  a few of  this years kids. They all admire you so much.  You were a unique wrestler. So talented and you didnt even know it. I dont know about next tuesday but I suppose I have to go. face my fears as you always said. Scotty and Ciara came over the other day. Ciara brought flowers and they stayed for a long time. She is such a sweet girl.Scotty rough housed with Ruger. He handt had anyone play with him so much since  you left.  Scotty said that Anakin smelled like you. he got really sad when he was holding him and smelling him. I think you smelled like anakin and that was jsut was he was smelling.  i went to see Jynx today. I took her some toys and some treats and some food. She is getting so big and she is so fast now. but at the end she crawled under my shirt and  just sat on my chest. I got a  bunch of stuff for your site.  A bunch of us are going tommorrow  for your birthday. Clayton and  maybe scotty and a few others i dont know for sure.  I though about getting cake but I dont know. youre gonna love the huge jawbreaker sucker I got you. you made them last for weeks. Tonight I told Dad what has been happening to me. I thought  i was going crazy. I think he thinks I am just by the look on his face.  I talked to Claytons Mom and she made me realize that I'm not. I know you are here. She wants to come over sometime to talk to you. And the thing with anakin the other night, kind of freaked us out a bit but  it quickly goes away when I realize  its you then a peace comes over me. I wish it wasnt so quick, that I could see you more . I know that you are here all the time but I cant see you all the time and that frustrates me because by the time I realize I saw anything, its gone. Sonya beleived me though and It makes me feel better that I'm not going crazy. Today charlie picked up the sports page and kept  pointing to a picture and saying "tio" . it was a picture of an old man. but he kept insisting it was you. Every once in a while he  quickly stops what he is doing and points and says "tio".  Tonight is going to be hard.  tommorrow even worse. It is the day that I first met you. at 11:30. He were all wrinkled up and Mad as hell. you looked like Elmer Fudd. your little button nose was already scrunching up. I was so afraid that someone would take you so I didnt  let them take you away to bathe you or anything unless I could go. They wanted you to stay in the hospital a few days but I wanted to take you home. you were healthy. definatley didnt have any problems with your lungs. so we went home the next morning. When we got home Nanita was waiting for us. the first thing she did is take your diaper off and spank your butt. she wanted to hear you cry. she  held you all the time. the only time she gave you up was when i had to nurse you.  she sang her songs to you and rocked you on the   ugly orange recliner we had.  As soon as she changed your diaper she would go wash it. yea we used cloth cause we were  poor.  so many memories of you growing up.  I remember the time I left you with Tata for half hour to go to the store. he had stopped for coffee as he did every morning. I jsut had to go to the store in sonoita  to get milk and right back. I had never left you with anyone other than nanita. Tata really wanted to have you alone I think. it was February and you had  just started walking ( see what I mean about you being in a hurry to do everything). It was pretty cold. I got back as fast as i could.  i went in the house and it was empty. I heard you outside and when i went around the back, you were butt naked and Tata was washing your butt with the hose. your lips were blue but you were squealing and having the time of your life splashing in the water. I asked Tata what he was doing and he said  you had pooped your diaper so he took you out and washed your butt off. the diaper was a heap in  the mud.  you got mad when i borught you inside and dried you and put  warm clothes on you.  Our dog Pica loved you. you were her puppy. she had puppies and we had jsut gotten rid of the last one the week  before you were born. she was very sad. when we brought you home she climbed in bed and immediatley started taking care of you. she liked to lick you butt clean when we changed you diaper. she never left your side. I know you are in heaven with your dear old Pica dog. Does she like Elvisfatboy and Dallas? I know she'd love Dallas and would think Elvis was her puppy. I know there are dogs in heaven because God wouldnt want you to miss dogs and knows you loved them so much.  I love you and I miss you so much. I dont get as many texts anymore except form goofy Anthony. throughout the day i often walk by my phone and  i feel this yearning. I remember you texted  me a lot and now the phone is silent during the day. I miss lunch time. I wouldnt even mind taking you lunch to werever you are now as long as i could get to see you. even if it was for a few minutes each day. I hope to see you tommorrow.  I love you so much son.  Happy 19th birthday.

I"ve run my last race.

The finish line  of this stair climb ended up in Heaven.

My song is over, but my voice lives on in your hearts

All my Angels now have tattoos and they are beautiful.

I can draw all day and I don't need erasers, everything is perfect.

Mamma  I took your heart and soul with me.

You can have it back when we meet again.

You love me more than anyone or anything else,

Always had my back.

Everything you had was for me and about me.

You and Dad helped make me that man I am.

You won't beleive the candy bars they have here.

I can have as many as I want and they're beyond delicious.

I'm never hungry , Nanita makes sure of that.

I'm never cold, here arms embrace me just as she did when I was born.

Dad, You loved me too.

Even more than you loved your own.

You guided me, as I will guide you when you get here

I had to leave to prepare things for you.

And I saw you doing donuts on the quad at my grave site.

yea, it made me laugh.

You always told me "work smarter, not harder".

Why dont you take your own advice old man?

My bro's; Never give up. Semper Fi.

Here, in my place in heaven I finally have my band

 there's no room for more drummers just yet

 but the music we make is awesome.

All the guitars I ever wanted, I have them now.

You'd be so jealous.

Lady, Jaz, and Jax;  Don't forget me.

Look up at the sky at night.

That liltte bright star that wont' stop twinkling:

That's me . Watching over you.

Big Bro.  Take that weight off your shoulders. Turn it into love.

For your little family. Guide them  through the right path.

I'm doing great!

There is no darkness here.

No pain, no lonliness. Nothing hurts and no one can hurt me here.

There is only Peace, Joy, Laughter. It's always warm and sunny here.

I smile all  the time now.

To those that wronged or that I wronged. I forgive. There  is no room for regrets.

There is no room for hate or anger here.

I'm free.

I'm with Paigee. She met me the day I got here.

We hang  out . We laugh.

She runs with me and I've been kicking a soccer ball with her.

She can still eat more tacos than anyone else.

And she wants me to tell 'Ya'll" that we're ok. Don't worry 'bout us.

Nanita is here too. I sleep  with her.

She is still beautiful and nice.

She hugs and kisses me so I won't miss you yours so much.

And I met all my other grandparents.

And they are so happy I was given time with them now.

They have all taken me and Paigee under their Angel wings.

We soar from cloud to cloud looking down at you.

Waiting for the day you get here.

I know your'e sad. I know you miss me.

If you only knew how much better it is for me here

You wouldnt worry, or shed any more tears.

Sorry.. Only  us lucky ones get to be here now.

Your time will come  and when it does...

I'll have this place ready for all of you.

Just look up at the clouds. I move them around sometimes so I can see you.

And I'm arranging thing so they are just right for each of you.

I love you all.

Later Dudes.

 

 

 

 

 

I'll never forget the times we would sit up at the house and drink, laugh and just hang out..you were the best big brother anybody could ask for and i'm soo glad you were in my life...you were always there for me whenever I needed a shoulder to cry on or just someone to vent my anger or frustration too...and if i needed someone to talk to, you were the best listener and helped me through a lot... and for that I thank you....you are in my heart always Jay..I love and miss you soo much..R.I.P. Bubba i'll never forget you or the impact you made on my life....

Breif were my days among you

And breifer still the words I have spoken.

But should my voice fade in your ears, and my love vanish in your memory, then I will come again.

And with a richer heart and lips more yeilding to the spirit will I speak.

Yea, I shall return with the tide.

And though death may hide me, and the greater silence enfold me, yet again will I seek your understanding.

And not in vain will I seek.

If aught I have said is said is truth, that truth shall reveal itself in a clearer voice, and in words more kin to your thoughts.

The time has come that my life has ceased

I ask that you remember these things.

                      

Bury my body, but not my beliefs.

                  

Bury my heart, but not my love.

                    

 Bury my eyes, but not my vision.

                                                       Bury my feet, but not the path I ran or walked on

Bury my hands, but not my diligent effefforts

My Legacy  lives on in my art, tenacity strength and drive.

  Bury my shoulders, but not the concern I carried.

                                            

Bury my voice, but not my messages, my music

   or the songs that I sang.

                                       

Bury my mind, but not my dreams, my hopes

                                                                                          and aspirations.

  

Bury me, but not my life.

                         

If you must bury something let it be…

 my  faults and weaknesses,

                                                                                                                                                                                          

                                                                                           let my life continue in you.

     Rock on!   I Love You!         

    " IM FREE"

 

Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free

I'm following the path God laid for me.

I took His hand when I heard Him call

I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day

To laugh, to love, to work or play.

Task left undone must stay that way.

I found that place at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void,

Then fill it with remembered joy.

A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,

Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow,

I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.

My life's been full, I savored much.

Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief:

Don't lengthen it now with undue grief.

Lift up your heart and share with me

God wanted me now. He set me free.

 

There is a place, I have been told, Beyond an open gate, All have been invited Where friends and loved ones wait It holds eternal promise, Of everlasting peace, No pain or sorrow ever comes, And teardrops there have ceased. Abundant life is evident, Constant, fresh and new, A garden of provision, With eternity in view. The promise is awaiting, A place we can abide, Fulfilled for all who answer, The call to come inside Mom

you changed your name so when i called you , you didnt  answer until i guessed who you were that day. Buster, Cougar, Tommy, TJ, Fudd.  then alter you were  Boy, Little Man, Shaggy.

 You always loved bananas.  you hated wearing clothes. you loved Power Rangers especiall the white and green ones. you first day of school you wore a complete power ranger outfit and back pack.  you watched Beeteljuice somuch we had to buy another tape. you loved climbing things especillay the tree out front. Myranday climbed it to see what you had in your toy box up there. you climbed on top of the firdge and welost you for 3 hours.  I was so afraid. turns out you were watching us the whole time and when i leaned on the sink to cry you said " dont cry mama". and i found you. ill add more meories later.